“You’re An Asshole and You Know It”

This is a mini “sequel” to my last piece of writing. If you read my last article, then you’ll clearly understand this “rage poem.”

March 2021: “I could have just appreciated having been told personally before, since you did mention to me that you weren’t ready for relationships.”

“I’m really sorry, but I didn’t say that on the last days.”

I take a screenshot of that last message and send it to him.

“Damn ok, when was that?”

“It was around the time of my head injury.”

“I can’t remember that exactly but that was in January, I think. Anyways, like I said, not everyone knew; not even my close friends and family.”

In my head, “Are you fucking serious, you fucking coward?”

My “Rage Poem:”

Although you left me in shambles, you’re still a coward. How you handled this situation between us was absolutely fucking disgusting. You were able to move on so quickly, but I wasn’t. It was so fucking unfair. Why didn’t you tell me? Why couldn’t you remember anything you told me? Why couldn’t you, at least, understand how I felt or ask me if I was okay after this shit ended?

“I’m hard to lose (as a friend), trust me”

Well, fuck you. Because, you know what? This is not what a friend does to another friend. This is not a friendship. Either way, you’re not a good guy. To think of it (in hindsight), you never even were.

You may see this or not, but I know how to mask things perfectly. Just because you say hello to me and hug me, that does not mean we are friends. Just because I tell you you’ve done well at what you’re good at or share photos of your craft, that does not mean we are friends.

You pretended like nothing ever happened between us. You still pretend like nothing ever happened. You couldn’t process how I felt, as to why I was clearly left in shambles. All because of you, your behavior, and your actions. This nearly destroyed me. You nearly destroyed me.

You said you’d always be there for me. Again, FUCK YOU.

If you were not into me, then you could’ve just said that; not disguise it with a cowardly explanation.

The only thing I’m grateful for is discovering that you’re simply not the right guy for me, and you never were. As my sister told me, “Either way, not a good guy.” The more I see you now, the more unattractive you are to me. You’re a coward. You’re so dumb — so dumb that you clearly cannot process how other people feel all because you either can’t or just simply do not want to — which, by the way, says a whole lot about you.

We’re all fucked up in our own little ways and have our own flaws, including me. However, your flaws did nothing but hurt me, anger me, and caused me to be afraid of intimacy again.

I really hope…really, really hope that one day you realize what nearly damaging effects this had on me, why it nearly destroyed me, and why it hurt me so, so much — so you realize how your handling of this was seriously cowardly, disgusting, and uncool. I seriously pray to God that you, one day, really get that slap in the face.

And, if you ever come across reading this, just know that I do not hate you — that I just really hate what you did.